lolpastafandomcom-20200214-history
Death Cereal
Hello, I’m afraid I cannot tell you my name, but for purposes of understanding my story, I’ll use the name Jared. I am an ordinary person, other than the fact of what I went through. Please, read this whole story, and allow me to inform you of the dangers that may be upon you. I know, I used to love Life Cereal, just as much as the normal guy, if not, more. But not anymore. I hate Life Cereal. In fact, I’m afraid of it. I get cold chills every time I hear or see the name. And you would feel the same if you went through the same thing I did. So please… For the sake of your sanity, I beg of you to read this, and never eat Life Cereal again… One day on a mid-January morning, I had just woken up by the alarm clock. It was a nice day. Beautiful, in fact. Though I didn’t get much sleep. Only about three hours or so. My eyelids stuck together, and I wasn’t too thrilled to get up. At least, until I had the thought of having a nice bowl of Life Cereal. Just then, I got straight out of bed and put mu clothes on. A decent pair of clothes. I then walked out of the dressing room and into the kitchen. I said hello to my five year old son Jeremy. He’s always a nice kid. And how I envy him now, for never having an interest in Life cereal… He said hello back and I tussled with his hair, chuckling. I then let him be, and I went to the counter where we keep all of our cereal. I look down to realize… There’s no Life Cereal left. I was enraged at first, but I managed to stay calm. I just thought “well, I can just go to the store and buy some more.” And what I didn’t know at the time, is that that was the worst mistake I have ever made in my entire life… I grabbed the keys to my car, and said to Jeremy that I will be right back. It seemed like he didn’t want me to leave. I thought that, maybe it was because he wanted some company. But the store was only a few minutes away. So I went to my car and went inside. I started the car. I pulled out of the drive way, then drove down the road. As I was driving, I heard a slight whisper. It was so quiet, in fact, that I wasn’t even sure if it was something I actually heard or not. It sounded like it said “Don’t do it.” But I thought nothing of it. I just continued driving. I soon arrived to the store, then parked my car and got out. I walked into the store. There was many people in the store, as there usually is. Before I decided to get the Life. Cereal, I decided to get a few things for Jeremy. Toys and such. I can’t quite remember now what I got him, but I think I may have gotten him some toy dinosaurs and a water gun. I then finally went to the cereal isle. I had to pass I think the Lucky Charms and the Froot Loops before I got to the Life Cereal. I passed the Lucky Charms, then to the Froot Loops. Something felt… Strange. Then I realized. There was a Life Cereal box where the Froot Loops were! Now I should’v thought that something bad would’v came from it. I mean, you don’t see an orange in a batch of apples. Doritos in a bag if Ruffles. What difference is there with a box of Life Cereal where the Froot Loops are? Well… I still grabbed the box. I guess I was too lazy to walk an extra five steps to the Life Cereal section. Now would those spare five steps have been worth it over such a strange placement of a Life Cereal box? Absolutely. But because of my awful stupidity, I took the risk. Like I said, I took that box, then placed it into my shopping cart. As I was walking the isle, I saw in the corner of my eye something very odd. The Quaker on the box of Life Cereal had black eyes with red pupils. And they were bleeding. It looked so real… like, hyper-realistic. I thought that if I were to touch it, blood would get on my fingers. And instead of it saying “LIFE” on the box, it said “DEATH”. I then looked directly at the box, and it looked normal. I then thought that maybe it was all in my head. I went up to the guy that checks out people’s groceries and set everything down. He checked out the toys. He then grabbed the box… then hesitated. He looked at the box, then back at me, and said “I wouldn’t get this box of cereal if I were you.” I then said “Why? You don’t like Life Cereal?” He then stared at me without saying a word. Then checked out the box. He put everything in a grocery bag, then told me the price of everything, which turned out to be $34.78, which I didn’t understand because everything I bought was cheap. I handed him $35 and said “keep the change” then grabbed the grocery bag and left. I got in the car, then drove home. As I was driving home, I heard awfully creepy noises. Nothing I could understand. When I git home, I set Jeremy’s toys on the table. I then got out a bowl and a spoon, and took out the milk. I poured some of the Life Cereal into the bowl. So far it looked normal. I then turned around to get the milk, grabbed it, then turned back to the bowl. Now, the Life Cereal looked black. They looked almost like… Charcoal. It was very strange. But, I then poured in the milk. As the milk filled the bowl, a red liquid combined with the milk, making it look like blood. Soon it looked just like blood. I found it nauseating. But… I let my weakness of curiosity get to me. I dipped the spoon into the bowl, then lifted it up… and took a bite. As I chewed, the cereal tasted like ashes, and the milk tasted like blood. I almost felt like I was going to throw up, but for some reason I couldn’t help but to eat the rest. It was disgusting. Once all the cereal was gone, I then guzzled down all of the bloody milk. I was finally done… Finally… And never again did I eat Life Cereal. I hope you now understand why I never eat Life Cereal at this point, and why you shouldn’t. Unless you want to go through what I did… ---- Author is unknown Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious Category:EVIL FOOD Category:Title that makes babbies laugh Category:Stupid is as the main character does Category:Hyper-realistic Category:Blood Category:English Class Failure Category:Cliche Madness Category:Well, that was anticlimactic. Category:YT Readings